Personal Experiences

What are the Similarities Between Jehovah’s Witnesses and Telemarketers?

Quick Answer: Everything

From my personal experience, Jehovah’s Witnesses and the common telemarketer have a lot in common. They’re both trained the same, and treat humans the same. Here are some more specific reasons I’ve compiled of their similarities.

They seem to know how to solve all of your problems.

From an eternal paradise on Earth with a promise of everlasting life, to a new car insurance plan that will make all of your money problems disappear. It’s all the same.

They’re trained to ignore social cues.

Both telemarketers and Jehovah’s Witnesses are trained to ignore your normal, human, social cues. I don’t think anyone should be manipulated into buying or believing something that they don’t want to. But telemarketers have many strategies to overcoming objections to their products, like “Low intensity questioning” and “Bouncing the objection back to the buyer”. I think if someone doesn’t like your product, leave them alone, don’t manipulate their good-heartedness to get what you want. Same with Jehovah’s Witnesses! Check out pages 79-81 of this nifty book to see the ways the Jehovah’s Witnesses prepare for your objections! The whole book is pretty interesting, and it may help you turn both telemarketers and JW’s away easier.

They keep calling even when you say you aren’t interested.

We all know how this feels. Both of these groups are trained to be relentless! An insiders secret to getting Jehovah’s Witnesses to leave you alone for good: Tell them to put you on the “Do-Not-Call” List. Don’t be mean, and don’t be nice, just tell them to put you on that list, and they won’t come back. Telemarketers are, interestingly enough, the same. The federal government also has a national do not call list, and you can learn more about that here.

There is always a catch.

Remember that first time you fell for a telemarketers sales pitch, and you told them you were interested? Let me guess what they said: “Okay, amazing! Now we just need your credit card, and social security number.”

How about the first time a Jehovah’s Witness came to your door? You said you would take the publication and try out a meeting or two. All you have to do is stop talking to your family, stop celebrating holidays, dedicate all of your time to going door-to-door, forget about higher education, donate once a week to avoid being seen as a bad person, and forget about all of your “worldly” dreams and aspirations!

They don’t really care what happens after you say yes.

Whether it’s getting your identity stolen, or dying because you weren’t allowed to get a blood transfusion. The similarities are uncanny.

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